Saturday, March 6, 2010

10 years of ‘hmmm… mmmaybe’

Just a little throwback to my previous ranticle on Nostalgia. I wanted to share the main webcomic ideas that germinated in my head for the past 10 years, and why they failed to materialize.

* * *


Betwen 2000-2002 ‘Phantom Reality’ was the lame working title of a little hardly-feasible hardly interesting story about Arakawa Satoshi, a young japanese martial artist in her mid-twenties and Takeshi, the guy she loves... and their unwilling involvement in the events leading to the 1995 Sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway (yeah, serious business).

The Characters and story:
The hook was definitely the main character. Sato started as a random chick hastily sketched in my notebook, wearing a hakama and sporting a ponytail so ridiculously huge that you could have used it as a body pillow or a small emergency raft (She also swung a pair of nunchucks… wtf?). I let her to sit there for a while but she came back in so many of my other sketches that I gave her a name and story. She had mastered jiu-jistu, iai-jutsu, kenpo, wing chun kung-fu and aikido (yeah, I was just piling it on). Since she had dedicated much of her life to the martial arts since childhood, her studies suffered immensely. Sato was a strange gal. Highly profficient but socially awkward and withdrawn, so… bit of a geeky MMA dreamgirl.

Takeshi, was her aikido sparring opponent and the guy she was slowly warming to. He shared her interest in martial arts, but was nowhere near her level of skill. Also, he was slightly less confident and carried his own brand of social awkwardness, most of which was based on the blundering scared-of-women japanese youth stereotype. There was going to be a push-pull romantic tension until the story’s ending.

Kimi was the cute-friend-from-way-back-when who supported Sato through her studies. Think a blond-bleached ganguro but without the fake tan and ugly makeup as well as some actual smarts despite the look. She was the annoyingly-genki anime-fan with good-grades stereotype.

Miko was a singer (bit of a cross between Tarja Turunen and a generic j-pop idol) whose role in the story I had yet to decide. In fact she was just a character I thought ‘hmmm’ gotta find a way to include her… Fail. :P

Now, Takahashi Genzai was the guy who started the whole mess. He was also a martial artist (no shit!) in his late 40s, with a shadowy background in the JSDF and some unstated dirty deeds. Genzai had mob connections and was contracted by a third party to assist the Aum Shinrikyo sect in their attack. He was slowly grooming Takeshi to be his replacement if anything happened to him. His employers get a hold of Takeshi and get him involved as a means of leverage to ensure Genzai’s collaboration. Of course, Sato gets in the way before Takeshi gets seriously hurt.

Piling on useless details, PR’s plot was setup thus : Sato would lead her normal life, go to school everyday, socialize (awkwardly) with the other characters, the usual college-student rigamarole. But once in a while she would get a daydream about some serious events happening in her alternate reality, which took place in edo-era japan (hence the stupid-sounding title). Those daydreams would reveal upcoming events to her (meeting with Genzai, conflict with a dangerous religious group, stopping a friend from getting involved with them, etc..) The comic was to be laid out online-manga-style with no gag/punchline. I was really into manga at that particular time and the humor was at all not my goal. I even thought of posting them in chapters instead of single pages (which makes for a horrible business model, if you think about it).

Main inspirations :
The terrorist attack itself, chinese astrology, Rurouni Kenshin, Megatokyo, 3x3 Eyes, Jackie Chan movies, The Rock (for the poison gas) and even Metal Gear Solid.

Why it failed to happen :
It was a broken horsecart with the horses pulling in over 87 directions. That and the title was lame. The characters were hard to grok and at the same time too stereotypical to even get emotionally attached to. Sato was a tomboy, Kimi was an epic-level schoolgirl. Miko was a horrible ripoff of Priss Asagiri with little in the way of actual personnality, not to mention I hadn’t even found a use for her character. Takeshi was bland and old Genzai was…. Nah he was kind of cool… in a Mifune Toshiro kind of way… Ok I’ll shut up now… :S

But the final nail in its coffin was that it was ridicullously noobish. It was an amateurish take on a subject I hardly understood. (This was also before wikipedia got big and became a valid ressource. My research would have been facilitated with easier access to a wide variety of proper reading materials.) Truth be told, I just needed a historical event to act as a ‘timeline anchor’ that would give a sense of time and place to my story, not to forget some much needed credibility (which it obviously didn’t have on its own). But writing valid fiction about something extremely serious like a terrorist attack perpetrated by obscure groups for motives you hardly understand is a) pretentious and b) a complete lack of respect for the people directly concerned (Japanese citizens as a whole, the victims, etc etc etc….). So it just died in its infancy.

One of these days I might be tempted to ressurect Sato just for the fun of drawing her, but I wouldn’t exactly consider going ahead with this loose-thread story.

The upside :
PR gave me a host of characters designs to draw, draw, draw and draw again in the vain hopes that they would one day devellop into something potable. Additionally, the focus on martial arts and hand-to-hand combat gave me the impetus to learn how to draw aggressive characters in motion. It also turned my french, english and humanities cegep classes into doodling workshops *snicker*.

Moving on!

The chronicles of Emergalv is a fantasy world I’ve been working on since 2002 or so. It has taken many forms over the years since its original inception, but it began as a webcomic idea. And the world is gigantic. Just like PR, it started with a single sketch of a female character with cool warpaint on her face (I’m not making myself sound very serious, eh?).

The Characters and story:
I had originally planned it to be a family feud in my best tolkien-meets-shakespeare style, but I found the personnal story of the character Gresha, was more interesting. It was about her royal family’s eradication at the hands of a rival claimant to the throne, her dangerous exile to the southern lands and subsequent adoption by its people the Noerban (think Paul Atreides amongst the Fremen, only… said Fremen are all amazon-like chicks. Can anyone say ‘one-track-minded’ ?).

What was at first a simplistic revenge story evolved into a world of its own with varied cultures, political agendas, plot twists and the neverending conflicts both petty and large-scale. Early enough in the process I decided not to head down the ‘old road’ and eliminated all non-humans from the story. I thought, no elves, no dwarves, no magic, no bullshit. Not that I don’t enjoy classic tolkienesque fiction off and on, but I thought I’d create something more to my liking : A dark, gritty medieval world with some unique elements (like unexplained supernatural events that stayed unexplained) and of course some thinly-veiled references to our own History. It made for an interesting setting, and I spent more time actually writing for it than actually drawing characters.

When offered to dee-emm for an AD&D game with some of my friends (some of whom had never even tried tabletop roleplaying) I was at a loss to pick any one setting that I thought I could use well. Which left me to use what I had already written up as a test of its quality. My audience didn’t know what to expect, and they seemed to like it, so I was satisfied with that. I even found ways to throw in some NPCs that were originally supposed to be characters in the strip, like the mighty Vohanna of Clervol and the lord Ulrich the Restless (hehe).

Main inspirations :
Errant story, Emerald Winter, generic D&D, A Song of Ice and Fire, Warhammer, Morrowind and the art of Kristen ‘Merekat’ Perry, Larry Elmore and Boris Vallejo.

Why it failed to happen :
After experimenting with a few storyboards, I started feeling that, as a medium, a manga-style comic strip lended itself poorly to a world of this scope. At last, I completely scrapped the ‘comic’ idea and concentrated on the roleplaying sessions with my gaming group. When the game was left on hiatus and the group later dissolved (and my breakup with one of the players and the departure of another to Japan might have contributed, but hey, we had some fun) I left things as they were and moved on to other things. There was some significant overlap between the ‘webcomic idea’ phase and the roleplaying sessions. When the games stopped and the time came to actually get back to drawing a comic, I found my interest had shifted and I was no longer ‘in the mood’ to create a webcomic about it.

The upside :
I got a kickass series of non-generic D&D sessions out of it, as well as some awesome human cultures to use in my fiction writing. I’d say I got much further than PR. I have a lot of writing and graphics under my belt that is Emergalv material just waiting to be used (characters, timelines, maps, descriptions, etc). One day, I might just write a roleplay setting (fluff only sans gaming system) and publish it online as a PDF.

***


At some point I began writing out some scripts for a comic project called Given time and Cough Syrup. It was about a local metal band trying to get together and have some practices. Jokes would be based on looking for a band name, band disagreements, song lyrics, composition trouble, eclectic musical genres, and general metal fandom in general.

The Characters and story :
I didn’t even have a single sketch prepared, but you know what metalheads look like. :P
While the comic would have some noticeable story elements, the whole idea was to make it a gigantic farce, so no drama, no tragedy, just light humour poking fun at the things we metalheads love.

Main inspirations :
a defunct webcomic called Nova Next Exit, Metalocalypse, Questionnable Content, Nothing Nice to Say and my own love of the metal genre and experience starting punk/metal bands.

Why it failed to happen :
I felt that I would run out of joke material too soon and would need a good comic writer to help me with the humour. With only 2-3 scripts written, I didn’t really get into the project and moved on to other things before I could find someone willing.

The upside : Err… cheap laughs at 3:00 in the morning while writing my scripts?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Deux types de relations

Y’a quelques années, je travaillais chez Audio Z. Si je mets de côté un instant mes préjugés par rapport au monde de la pub, faut avouer que c’était un endroit plutôt cool où travailler. Sans parler de mes collègues de travail (en somme du monde génial), on y rencontrait toute une variété de gens venant de styles de vie différents. Des zen, des stressés, des gens bien assis sur leurs succès passés, des débutants qui étaient prêts à tout pour percer, des gens talentueux, des ‘vrais’ qui se la jouaient ‘fake’, des ‘fakes’ qui se la jouaient ‘vrai’, du monde cultivé comme des ignares, en veux-tu, en v’la. C’était de toute beauté.

Il y avait un producteur, un de nos clients réguliers, un type brillant dont le nom m’échappe malheureusement, qui parlait de différentes relations un midi et qui nous a présenté une idée qui m’est toujours restée depuis.

Il parlait de deux types de relations humaines : horizontales et verticales.

La relation horizontale, c’est un peu comme une ‘phase’. Un truc passager ou épisodique. On y entre au même ‘niveau’ qu’on en sort. On sait exactement à quoi s’attendre. Exemple : Vous avez des amis avec qui vous partagez un passe-temps. Vous les voyez presque uniquement pour ledit passe-temps et ça s’arrète là. Autre exemple: Vous avez un chum/une blonde que vous voyez les fins de semaine pour sortir. Nul besoin d’approfondir la relation. Même que ça pourrait tout ruiner.

L’horizontale ne demande pas nécessairement d’efforts. C’est facile d’y projeter son égo et de fonctionner sur un mode « a beau mentir qui vient de loin » parce que ceci ne fait que rendre l’expérience appréciable.


La relation verticale est un peu plus complèxe. C’est une relation à long terme dans laquelle on tente d’empiler les expériences et d'y trouver une progression. C’est la relation dans laquelle on grimpe les marches en espérant ne pas les débouler. Comme une maison, il faut de bonnes fondations, sans quoi, elle s’écroule au moment le moins opportun. Faut pas bruler d’étapes dans une verticale. C’est la relation dans laquelle "un et un font trois".

Les frictions peuvent desfois servir de test à savoir si la relation verticale est encore valide. Si on surmonte l’obstacle sans faire trop d’abnégation, les deux personnes grandissent ensemble. Si ça casse, la chute est douloureuse et la rémission peut être longue. Les vielles amitiés et les grandes histoires d’Amour sont des exemples parfaits de relations verticales.


Dans la vie en général, je ne suis ni partisan de l’une ou de l’autre. On vit ce qu’on doit vivre à différents moments avec différentes personnes.

Aussi me me suis-je posé la question et la réponse est venue d’elle-même : Oui, il est parfaitement possible de vivre deux types de relations avec la même personne, faire un genre de ‘transfert’ et passer d’un mode à l’autre. Mais c’est rare, tout de même. Souvent, c’est une question de savoir à quelle stade de notre vie on se trouve, et si un tel transfert est une idée saine.

Desfois, je croise des gens merveilleux que j’ai à peine le temps de connaître parce que la vie va trop vite. Mais souvent, ce qui se passe est que ces ‘prospects’ me semblent tellement génials que c’en est presque intimidant de commencer à zéro. C’est la preuve qu’ils valent la peine d’être connus. Encore faut-il être patient.

Partout on croise des gens qui voudrait bien d’une relation verticale mais arrivent seulement à former des relations horizontales. C’est une question d’attitude. Pour arriver à se rendre intéressants, beaucoup subliment leurs personnalité profonde (côté sérieux?) pour ne présenter que la pointe de l’iceberg (côté givré). Ça marche mais, c’est souvent de courte durée.

Une fois trop engagé dans un mode, on perd ses 'compétences' avec l’autre. Quand on plane trop sur les horizontales, on finit par trouver sa vie vide de sens et ses amitiés peu profondes. C’est comme dans l’expression "Quelqu’un qui est l’ami de tout le monde n’est l’ami d’aucun." À l’inverse, si on cherche partout des verticales, on se sent rejeté par les autres, alors tout ce qu’ils voudraient, c’est simplement d’avoir du plaisir avec nous sans engagement. (Et jouer les pots-de-colle, ça te change en ddddd-drama queeeeeen!)

C’est un jet de balancement. Faut choisir avec qui on intéragit, et de quelle manière.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A handful of Lifetime Classics washed down with a glass of Nostlagia

Advisory : This rant contains dangerous levels of name-dropping.

Wow... this is 2010, huh? And March already, too?

So much can change in ten years…

It may or may not have had anything to do with the ‘turn of the millenium’ but 2001 was a big change for me. It was my last year of high school, my last year in the air cadets, the year my first girlfriend and I amicably parted, my last few school band concerts playing the tympani, getting my first part-time job, putting my drums together with my father (we really had a blast building the kit from the ground up, sanding wood and installing hardware – the whole nine yards) and saving up for a new computer (my current aging Omoikane box), discovering music in droves and playing my classics Illusion of Gaia and Chrono Trigger from beginning to end (and again and again - I was really into old emulated SNES titles back then). That was when I started acquiring a wardrobe of my own chosing (my highschool years had mostly been spent in uniform). Oh, and right before beginning to college, I got myself a sweet bowler hat. God, I loved that hat.

And coffee… That’s one love story that just won’t end.

But the biggest change was my introduction to the world of webcomics.

Of course, as with everhting with me, nothing has a precise date as to ‘when it all started’. Early in 2000, I was really into drawing and I searched online for ressources, inspiration and tutorials to help me progress. This research yielded a lot of good drawing sites, but my love at the time was the now-defunct Impromanga.org. I was a big fan of the story called ‘Pennywise’, which was a stereotypical manga plot about some random pilot guy who crash-lands on some random planet entirely populated with nothing but – you guessed it – women. The beauty of Impromanga was that each story was created by one author and then passed on to other people who stood in queue to continue the story. Everyone did 4-12 pages depending on their time, creativity and gumption. It’s was like a mix of improvisational theatre and comic book, and it can lead to some pretty hilarious adventures. The best block of pages in the manga was drawn by webcomic superstar Josh Lesnick (he went as Kunislayershoujo, if I recall) who really turned the story around. Sadly, it wasn’t long before the site went down (the owner cited server costs as the main reason for the close). Soon after this little summer interlude, I lost track.

Later in the year when a friend of mine (hey, Simon, how you doing?) showed me 8bit Theatre. We were both gigantic FF1 fans back then (I still am, too) and I got a huge kick out of Brian Clevinger’s clever use of the oldschool sprites. The comic was hilarious and I read it religiously for a while.

After reading the archives and getting to the latest strip, I found that waiting for the next installment would kind of dull. If I had to turn this into a routine, I would lose interest fast. (Reading webcomic archives in long sittings is a trend that has continued for me to this day. I absorb the mood and story much better that way.) What got me out of this ‘comic blues’ was the links on 8bit Theatre that led to other webcomics. At that time, I wasn’t even aware of the existance of this burgeoning online comic scene that was just gaining momentum. Imagine my surprise when stood before the ‘holy gates of webcomica’, mouth agape eyes full of wonder about the possibilities (yeah and I still had leftover traces of acne so it can’t have been a pretty sight).

The links on 8bit led me to a bunch of sprite-based flash animation series, as well as another sprite comic called Life of Wily, and then the mighty hand-drawn webcomic RPG World, by Ian J, a humoristic take on console RPGs which I devoured with gusto. But I didn’t lose any time making new discoveries because RPG World had a bunch of links of its own. From this stepping stone, I started reading Real Life by Greg Dean, Exploitation Now by the infamous Michael Poe, Penny Arcade, and Winter, by Lemuel ‘Hot Soup’ Pew.

In turn I link-hopped a great deal. Penny Arcade showed me the path to both the legendary MacHall, by art guru Ian McConville & writer extraordinnaire Matt Boyd (now they do Three Panel Soul, which is pretty sweet too) as well as Lethal Doses, another little piece of wonder signé Hot Soup (Can anyone say 'brickshot!). Both Winter and RPG World linked me to Avalon, by Josh Philips and the venerable Polymer City Chronicles, by Chris Morrison. RPG World, ever the Keenspot nexus of links, made me curious about what became one of my all-time favourites, Wendy, where I reacquainted myself with the unique art style and absurdist humour of prolific drawster Josh Lesnick, to this day one of my favourite webcomic artists (I’m just rather sad that he’s pulled Wendy off the net - again). You should check out his other work : Cutewendy was a fun trip, and Girly is quite something, and has been running for 7 years and counting. There was also Kung Fool! by the ‘Crazy Kimchi’ man himself Hyung Sun Kim (another amazing wacko who has greatly influenced me) and I sometimes dallied with other titles like Queen of Wands, by, Aerie (Hell, I hear it even has a sequel now!), Something Positive R. K. Milholland and even Elf Life, by Carson Fire.

And then of course there was Megatokyo.



I joined up at strip #244 (Beach Landing) thanks to a link from Real Life. It was really telling in the way that the quality of Fred Gallagher’s artwork jumped at me. The first frame was just this establishing shot of tokyo harbour, with some tetrahedral shapes stacked in a kind of barricade. Then you have Dom shooting his way out of a beached container marked ‘Sega’ and meeting Ed outside (any such encounter generally entails an unavoidable mexican standdown). From that moment on, I just knew I was reading something special. The absurd-yet-believable scene was just the kind of story fix I needed.

Suspension of disbelief is a great part of that comic. MT just bursts at the seams with ‘wait… what?’ moments. You have two slacker-gamers stuck in tokyo, two japanese seiyuu (voice actresses), ninj4s, rent-a-zilla services, enough L33TSP34K to make your eyes bleed, a tokyo police force charged with scheduling and controlling disasters (also, their officers ride in mechas), violent enforcement of video game corporations’ competitive policies, robot-girls that are in fact accessories for playstation dating games, obsessive otaku (rivaling factions of them, even!), magical girls, an obscure raver/goth underground, cyberworld confrontations, intense psychological drama aaaaaand zombies… yes zombies (thought they were going to be left out? C’mon!).

It’s grandly absurd, and it somehow all fits together.

Though he worked previously as an architect, today, Megatokyo is Fred Gallagher’s bread and butter. A married man, he works from his home in Ann Harbour MI with his wife Sarah, and the father of a young boy, Jack. The comic, which still to this day appears free of charge on the main website, has brought him all over the world to appear at conventions and to university classrooms as a guest speaker on art and creation. The list goes on and clearly this is nothing so sneeze at.

Fred’s success story is only made stronger by the fact that initially, he didn’t even have the immediate desire to start an online strip, preferring to work on and off on a project of his own (Warmth). It took Rodney Caston’s insistant urging to get ideas moving and created what would later become the Megatokyo we know and love.

At the time of its inception, Megatokyo also embraced and embodied that observable transition from the common ‘joke-a-day’comic format, which focused on the punchlines of single installments, and the manga-inspired story-driven approach, which really emphasized continuity while retaining the comic relief. Even though it didn’t invent the concept (Polymer City Chronicles predates it by a long while) it was the widely-read proof to many aspiring webcomic authors that they could reconcile newspaper-funnies and deep storytelling in a very internets-like ‘hey we can make this work’ fashion. Megatokyo has, willingly or not, popularized this methodology and paved the way for a lot of people. Like many things that are great, it is more than the sum of its parts.

Webcomics differ from traditional comics in the level of interaction between authors, their collaborators and fans. Online, because of the speed of things, you can have this real sense of an evolving community. In 2004, I met Fred and Sarah at Anime Central and got my books 1-3 signed (waaaaaiiii~), which was one of the coolest moments of my decade. I cosplayed the l33t ninj4 Junpei from the comic, and met with fellow fans. If truth be told, I was never as much a die-hard fan of anime and manga as any of my college-era friends: Megatokyo was the sole motivating factor that made me attend Anime Central.

Turns out Megatokyo is turning 10 this august and I’m almost weeping with joy for Fred and Rodney. But instead of shedding tears, I think I’ll celebrate by splurging on MT merch’ and spending some time re-reading my favourite moments in the comic.



In recent years, my interest in webcomics has waxed and waned a bit, but I discovered a few good titles, like Errant Story, penned by the aforementionned elder god of all things slimy, Poe, Angels2200 by Peter Haynes (also a kiwi filmmaker, you should check out his stuff), Questionnable Content, by Jean Jacques, the on-hiatus Loserz, by Eric Schoenek, Alpha Shade, a really pro-quality story-driven comic by Chris and Joe Brudlos with a very engaging plot (I really do wish they could update more frequently) and breathtaking artwork. Hell, I even jumped on the Ctrl-Alt-Delete bandwagon, albeit belatedly. Truth is, the way things are going, we will never really run out of webcomics, which is great. As long as the internet exists, this medium will thrive.

I have my own characters that I would love to revisit. Those of you who knew the good old days of MadVladArt.cjb.net (Back when gratuitiously I posted just about everything I drew, even horrid deformed gouge-your-eyes-out oddities) might remember some of the recurring character concepts that I was so obsessed about : Arakawa Satoshi (the kickass martial artist chick and main character of a barly fleshed-out webcomic idea) and Gresha (my Ultima Online character on Teiravon, a free roleplaying shard. She helped spawn a rather complete RPG setting which I created for my college-era AD&D games and fiction writing – Yes, it’s Emergalv. You will be able to read some short stories on this site eventually). Yes, you might have noticed that I like women a lot, even though my female characters often behaved like sexy tomboys. :P

So for ten years, I’ve been juggling with the idea of starting my own stories as well. Not that I really ever acted on all that goodwill. One might say life got in the way, or I was just too lazy, or that I tried to entertain too many hobbies at once. But once in a while, I look at my old sketchpads and wonder if I could still do it. I mean, it’s not like a domain name and hosting is really expensive anymore. And it’s not like I don’t have the interest. I just keep wondering if my drawing skill is ever going to be at the level I want it to be when I start a strip.

But all in all it’s fun to reminisce. And ten years sounds like a big deal, when you think about it. Where were you ten years ago?

Now, I’m not one who lives in the past because he’s afraid to move forward, nor am I the type of guy who’ll suddenly exclaim "Oh god I feel old now" when I see younger people have fun. I tend to think that my life experience is comparable to a snowball rolling down a hill, picking up more and more as it goes.

The thing is, when you ‘move on’ with your life, you don’t necessarily disconnect from your past experiences. You always bring something of it with you to help with the journey. Some people call that « baggage » or a « ball-and-chain » in a really derogatory way. It’s like saying you didn’t really grow up. But I really can’t force myself to believe that any of that time was ever wasted. No matter what I’m up to now, it’s always going to be due in part to the things I used to do and enjoy (and may return to from time to time). Point-in-case, the last strip for MacHall, which summarizes this feeling pretty well.

Nearly ten years down the line and I am sitting in an office working in a field I had no idea back then even existed. I sit here, 25 going 26 and reminisce about my past joys and how they’ve influenced everything from that one single time a friend showed me something cool. I guess to summarize it all, you could simply say ‘what goes around comes around’.

J’te veux à mon goût, sinon j’m’en fous!

Ahhhh, les sites de rencontres. Ça fait des lustres que ça existe et depuis le début ça ne fait que prouver que l'anonymité sur internet est la mère de bien des défauts. Même des gens bien y deviennent particulièrement égoïstes et malpolis.

Ces sites là regorgent de monde, et deviennent comme des micro-sociétés où personne n'apprend à se connaitre vraiment. Pourtant c'était le but initial, non? De prendre contact avec des gens nouveaux? Alors pourquoi tant de méfiance? Si par hasard on te mentait, on abusait de ta patience ou de ta bonne volonté, tu aurais toujours le droit de rapporter le/la fautif/fautive à un modérateur, merde! Passe à autre chose et commence à relationner! La paranoïa, c’est pas sexy.

Comme avec n'importe quel culture, il se forme rapidement un jargon interne qui est hostile aux nouveaux-arrivés. Énormément de double-sens, de mensonge et d'hypocrisie caché derrière chaque message. Le monde aime bien paraître, même si ça veut dire descendre les autres autour pour gratifier son égo mal nourri. J'essaie un peu dans cet article de décortiquer tout ceci avec quelques analyses de ce language.

Alors calibrez votre Détecteur de Conneries et retenez-moi ces phrases-clés là.



Il/elle dit:
"Ça c'est vraiment ma passion!"

Mais en fait ça veut dire:
"Je trippe présentement sur ceci."

Explication:
À moins de vivre dans le passé, la perception que les gens ont d'eux-mêmes est fortement marquée par les choses qui les intéressent au moment où ils te parlent. Les nouvelles 'passions' ont d'autant plus de place dans leur description. En gros, le monde se définit à travers ce qu'il fait.

Si quelqu'un aime le kayak, ça paraitra surement sur son profil en été. En hiver, la même personne pourrait parler de raquette. Tout dépend à quel moment le profil a été rédigé ou édité.



Il/elle dit:
"Je suis quelqu'un de trippant" ou bien "Je suis quelqu'un d’intense"

Mais en fait ça veut dire:
"C'est pas dur de m'intéresser avec des choses nouvelles."

Explication:
Bon signe! En plus, ça peut aussi dire que la personne a en général une pas-pire opinion d'elle même.



Il/elle dit:
"J'aime passer du temps avec mes ami(e)s, au resto avec une bonne bouteille de vin."

Mais en fait ça veut dire:
"J'ai pas vraiment de hobbies" ou "J'ai pas vraiment de hobbies dont j'ose parler à des étrangers"

Explication:
Facile, celui-là. Le vin rouge est vraiment à la mode au québec depuis à peu près une quinzaine d'années. C'en est venu qu’à faire partie du décor. Mais en ce qui concerne parler de ses intérêts, c'est vraiment pas fort. C'est l'équivalent de parler du temps qu'il fait dehors quand on est gêné. Ça revient à dire n'importe quoi pour meubler le silence.

Tu es un(e) vrai(e) passionné(e) du vin? Parle moi de ton cours de sommelier que t'as pris à la SAQ. Tu as des amis? Félicitations. L'inverse m'aurait inquiété. Tu aimes passer du temps avec eux? J'espère! Sinon quel genre d'ami(e) es-tu?

Honnêtement, la jasette au resto entre amis avec le vin, c’est une occasion de voir ton monde pour vous donner des nouvelles. Si tu es toujours rendu à faire la même chose, vous n’avez rien de nouveau à vous conter. Plaaaaaaaaaate.



Il/elle dit:
"J'adore voyager!"

Mais en fait ça veut dire:
"J'ai fait un SUPER COOL voyage récemment et j'en reviens toujours pas!"

Explication:
Tu risques de retrouver des photos dudit voyage dans son album, peut-être même sa photo principale. Peut-être même que il/elle ne sera pas présent(e) dans certaines de ces photos. Les voyages, c'est toujours intéressant, mais les gens en parlent dans leur profils comme si c'était la seule chose qu’ils font. Ça peut même sembler comme si ils/elles allaient être toujours parti(e)s, ou que la personne en question va te trouver plate de ne pas avoir autant de "vécu" qu'elle/lui, ça ne veut en fait rien dire. Porte pas trop attention et pose des questions honnêtes à propos de son voyage. Tu verras si c'est un intérêt légitime ou juste une phase de sa vie.



Il/elle dit:
"Je suis une fille/un gars vraiment pas compliqué(e) qui recherche quelqu'un de vraiment pas compliqué(e). C'est simple hein......"

Mais en fait ça veut dire:
"J'ai eu des histoires moches récemment et j'aimerais me changer les idées"

Explication:
Pas un mal en soi, mais il faut faire attention aux gens qui n'ont pas un passé règlé. Souvent, tu vas servir de "patch" pour tout ce qui allait mal dans sa relation précédente. Une fois le mal passé, t'es viré, toi aussi parce que tous tes autres côtés ne l'ont jamais vraiment intéressé. On appèle ça un 'rebound'. Boing!

Et si c’était légitime comme affirmation? Eh bien prend le comme un critère et regarde si ça fonctionne pour toi.



Il/elle dit:
"J'aime profiter de la vie!"

Mais en fait ça veut dire:
"Je pense que je commence à détester ma routine."

Explication:
Les gens ont souvent l'impression que de tomber en amour va règler (ou du moins éclipser) les problèmes de la vie quotidienne. C'est faux. Ça va simplement les accentuer ou entrer en conflit avec leur résolution. En affaires, un plan trop compliqué foire à cause du moindre détail. C'est la même chose dans la vie. Tu veux une relation? Apprend à faire de la place dans ta vie pour la laisser entrer. Personne ne veut hériter d'un champ de bataille.



Il/elle dit:
"J'aimerais rencontrer des gens qui savent s'amuser et qui profitent de la vie"

Mais en fait ça veut dire:
"Je m'ennuie."

Explication:
Ça sent la relation à haute maintenance. Quelqu'un qui dit ça dès le départ a de fortes chances de refuser beaucoup d'offres d'activités jusqu'à ce que plus personne ne lui fasse d'offres. La barre est haute, mais c'est fait exprès pour regarder le monde se casser la gueule à tenter de la sauter. Les éternel(le)s insatisfait(e)s vont écrire ça très souvent sur leur profil, bien mis en évidence au tout début du texte.



Il/elle dit:
"Je suis désillusionné(e) en amour"

Mais en fait ça veut dire:
"Je veux tout cuit dans le bec et ne jamais avoir à faire d'effort pour avoir une relation qui marche"

Explication:
Les gens sont sur des sites de rencontre pour essayer de trouver des partenaires valables. Qu'est-ce qu'il disait, Yoda, à propos du mot 'essayer', hrmmm?

Beaucoup demeurent célibataire/insatisfait(e)s pour la même raison qu'ils/elles le sont devenu: la PARESSE. La 'pensée magique' est reconnue comme étant un sale piège. C'est normal d'avoir des attentes, tant que ça ne devient pas étouffant. Ceux et celles qui se créent trop d'attentes vont être déçu(e)s à chaque fois. C'est quoi tu veux? Eh bien retrousses tes manches et apprend à bâtir.



Et maintenant on parle de mon préféré. Pourquoi c'est mon favori?

Parce que nous sommes tous coupables de ceci:

Il/elle dit:
"En passant, je ne répond pas à (s'ensuit une longue énumération de groupes d'ages et champs intérêts particuliers). Perdez pas votre temps."

Mais en fait ça veut dire:
"Je suis ici pour me sentir supérieur(e) et juger le monde séverement."

Explication:
C'est la marque d'une personne très négative, le genre qui voit le verre d'ambroise à moitié vide (même si c'est de la fucking ambroise, man). Quand même que tu ne figurerais pas sur la liste, tente d'écrire à cette personne et tu vas voir qu'il/elle ne répond à personne. Ça sent la fermeture d'esprit. Heille! T'es sur un site de rencontres. Du monde va forcément t'envoyer des messages parce qu'ils/elles te trouvent intéressant(e). Arrête de faire ton/ta difficil(e) et prend le comme un compliment. Si ça ne t'intéresse pas, t'es parfaitement libre de dire 'non'. Le problème c'est que tu ne prends pas la peine de répondre 'non' alors tous les types de gens que tu rejettes ne savent absolument pas quoi en penser.

Si le couple dans la quarrantaine qui se cherche un trip à trois te contacte pour une toute autre raison (disons un intérêt commun ou une question autre) et que tu ne lis pas le message, tu viens de manquer une opportunité de créer des liens. Si une personne qui vient d'avoir 30 ans te contacte malgré ta limite de "pas de monde au delà de 29 ans, lol" mais répond à tous tes autres critères, vas-tu le/la rejeter?

Exemple: Si je dis sur mon profil que je préfère entrer en relation avec une femme non-fumeuse, mais que je tombe sur un profil fort intéressant et que c'est le seul détail qui cloche, ma curiosité par rapport à cette personne devrait me permettre de passer par dessus, non?


Quand on rejette tout le monde d'emblée, souvent c'est nous le problème, pas eux. Et ceux qui croient que « ça compte pas » sur le net peuvent aller se faire fouttre.

J'ai parlé.

First, an introduction

Let's begin with an explanation of the blog's title. It may sound vague at first, but some of you will recognize the basic concept for what it is.

The Quiet Alpha is, sociologically speaking, something of a hybrid between the an "alpha" an "beta" male. The classic alpha is often seen as that pushy, confident asshole that stole your girlfriend in high school while the classic beta is the quintessential pushover pencil-neck nice-guy-that-finishes-last.

Other kinds of obvious observations can be made.

The alpha attracts top models, one of which he will eventually turn into his trophy wife. He is prone to anger when confronted with his own emotions or those of his mate, and will often respond to even the smallest challenge to his position as Lord Grand Emperor of the Family Unit (after all, it's lonely at the top, isn't it?). This guy exerts a great deal of direct control over his immediate environment, mostly because a) he can, and b) he feels he is the only one qualified to make critical decisions. He is a natural leader, mainly because he doesn't question his own authority too often.

The beta attracts single moms, heavy-set women, low-self-esteem girls or any combination of these. He will easily be carried over by his emotions which will make him clam up and mutter unintelligibly as a confused and melting mess of a man. This beta may also score a woman who will be a little too mothering and turn him into a sad, pathetic overgrown child. The beta will be a little too open-minded, too prone to suggestion and will seem less likely to assert his own authority on any matter, regardless of his own under-stated success. Despite all this, he makes a proper follower, glad to tag along. Though he's a bit jealous of the alpha's popularity and sucess, he won't make a move to become one because "oh, well it's just not in my nature, you know".

Now, you probably see me coming with these clichés.

While the easiest route would be to use the "quarterback and nerd" template, I have found that the dividing line between alpha/beta is not the commonly accepted brain-vs-brawn variable. The real difference between these two characters is... wait for it.... attidude. And attitude is everything (hooo boy).

Well, that being said, as far as the polarized view goes, I beg to differ.

In many things I have always preferred the middle ground to any opposing extremes. To cite a common example: In politics I am neither a left-wing or right-wing partisan, mainly because I know both need their time on the podium, so long as they don't overstay their welcome. I think the same goes for our little alpha-beta friends here: they get to come into their own when the time is ripe. But beyond the easy profiling, there is the attractive possibility of reconciling the two personnality archetypes.

Enter the quiet alpha. Neither pushy or submissive. Assertive enough to speak his mind and dominant in the fields that interest him. He’s both a useful team player and a fair leader. In a relationship, he can be both the protector/provider that women need and still find ways to be the caring romantic that gratifies the emotional side of things but doesn't overindulge. The main difference is how he refuse to allow any of these traits to overtake his whole life. He doesn't necessarily make a show of his qualities, nor does he hide them hoping someone will notice. He doesn't jump to conclusions, nor does he run around in circles trying to overanalyze things. It's a balancing act, one which, if performed correctly, makes him a calm but potent force that can be relied upon by himself and his loved ones.

Strictly speaking, he is a real gentleman. Hell, this guy is a fuckin' prince!

Seems pretty clear-cut, huh? Truth be told, the quiet alpha is an ideal that can never be entirely reached. And the main reason for that is... human nature. We never walk the line long enough to stay in one 'mode' all the time, anyways. But a goal, no matter how lofty, is a goal, and as long as you have that goal to pursue, you stay a healthy human being (I gotta thank old Voltaire for that statement).

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I have to mention that this whole 'quiet alpha' thing is not entirely my idea. It's in fact a meme that developped over the course of late-night/early-morning philosophical discussions with friends and kind of stuck with me long enough to want to write about it.